The Movement for Reform Judaism

You were right to describe the practice as custom rather than law, which is typical of so many Jewish rituals surrounding death and mourning that have evolved over the centuries. In this case, it probably carries resonances as far back as biblical times. The first Jews, Abraham and Isaac and their wives, were buried in a cave in Hebron - which is also why the area is regarded by some Jews as so important today, even though it is in the West Bank and largely populated by Palestinians. However, Rachel died whilst she and Jacob were travelling and she was buried locally in the ground, near Bethlehem. Genesis records that Jacob placed a stone on her grave (35.20).

This then became the general practice for those buried in the ground. It served several purposes: it acted as a marker of the spot, it prevented her body being disturbed by wild animals, and in later times it warned a cohen that he was near a corpse and should avoid it (this was because a cohen/priest was not allowed to come into contact with dead body unless it was a member of his immediate family, lest he become "contaminated" and therefore be unable to perform sacrifices in the Temple).

With the use of cemeteries and gravestones today, all these functions are now fulfilled, so leaving a small stone serves no practical purpose anymore. However, it does serve as a useful way of showing one's respect in a practical manner, so that we do not just visit a grave and think about the person, but bend down, pick up a pebble and leave the equivalent of a "calling card" on the gravestone. It is typical of the way Judaism employs physical acts to express intangible emotions and thoughts. It is not a law, and so we are not obliged to do it, but it can be a helpful ritual. Some Jews have the custom of seeking a round stone, so as to signify the cycle of life or completeness, but any stone will suffice.

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