Definition:

Jewish burials usually occur very quickly after death, traditionally within 24 hours (based on Deut. 21:22-23).

It was always recognised that this is not always possible – the Talmud (Bava Kama 81a) insists that individuals be allowed to pay their final respects which may result in a delay if they have to travel. Preference for quick burial nonetheless remains. This time-frame is very helpful for the immediate mourners since the act of burial brings closure as quickly as possible. Kabablistically, prompt burial results in the refreshing of the soul of the deceased and allows it to move on to God.

Traditionally, very simple coffins are used so that everyone is equal in death. In many communities, tohorah – the ritual cleansing – will have occurred before burial, and the deceased will be wearing shrouds in the coffin. Some individuals own a kittel which is worn at their wedding, at the seder and is the garment in which they are buried. An individual may also be buried in their tallit, although the tzitzit (tassels) will have been torn off in order to not bury a kosher garment. Some Jews prefer not to waste such a garment, though, and will pass it down to the descendants of the deceased.

In the Torah, individuals were not buried in plots in the ground but were buried in caves, such as the cave of Machpelah purchased by Abraham (Gen. 23). This provided an important connection to the community and in a similar way Jewish burials take place today within consecrated ground. It is only in later Rabbinic Judaism that we find allusions to burial plots in the ground, with a legend of the raven teaching Adam and Eve where to bury Abel by scratching away at the earth when it had already buried one of its family (Pirke de Rabbi Eliezer 21).

Customs surrounding burial have changed greatly through the ages. The Talmud (Ketubot 46b) describes the use of torchbearers and barefooted professional mourners, a custom no longer observed. While a few Rabbis might ask forgiveness of the deceased for all those assembled, this custom is also not widely observed. One custom which is still observed by some Reform Jews is k’ria – the tearing of an item of clothing to symbolise the rent heart. This item is then worn publicly.

A eulogy is always given at a funeral, either by the Rabbi or by a member of family. Flowers are discouraged at a Jewish funeral since it is a Christian custom. Far more traditional is the custom of placing a stone on the grave when visiting in future years. Once the coffin has been lowered, immediate mourners are invited to shovel earth onto the coffin. This painful ritual is perhaps the most important Jewish ritual in terms of helping individuals face the reality of their loss and is strongly encouraged. One custom is to use the back of the shovel to indicate our reticence at performing this mitzvah. Once family members have placed soil on the coffin, everyone else in attendance is invited to fill in the grave.

At the end of the service, those in attendance traditionally wish the mourners “May the Almighty comfort you among all mourners of Zion and Jerusalem” or “May God comfort you.” A prevalent but uniquely English custom is to wish the mourner “a long life,” although some mourners find this sentence difficult in message even if the intention is pure.

After the service, those in attendance should provide the mourners with food, often including hard-boiled eggs whose roundness is said to emulate either life or the journey through grief.

Sources:

• Encyclopaedia Judaica, Keter Publishing House, 1972, Vol. 4, 1515 – 1523
• .Mourning & Mitzvah – A Guided Journal for Walking the Mourner’s Path Through Grief to Healing, Anne Brenner, Jewish Lights, Vermont, 2001
• The Jewish Way in Death and Mourning