Translation:

Shiva means 7, the traditional number of days during which a mourner sits shiva.

Definition:

A shiva call is when a non-mourner visits a mourner who is sitting shiva in order to pay their respects.

Paying a shiva call is an important way to support a mourner in the early days of their grief. Traditionally, visitors do not bring flowers or gifts, but bringing food to make life a bit easier for the mourner is very appropriate (as long as any dietary restrictions are known and strictly adhered to). Some people make contributions to charity in memory of the deceased; many families choose a charity to which they would like these contributions made.

At the shiva, one should try to refrain from frivolous conversation, either with the mourner or with other visitors. It is important to be aware of the needs of the mourner, which at times may be conversation and at others may be quite the opposite. It is often difficult to know how to greet a mourner. A traditional phrase is hamakom yenachem [ot’cha for a male, otach for a female, etchem for a group of men or men and women, etchen for more than one female] betoch she’ar avlei tsiyyon virushalayim (often shortened to HaMakom yenachim etchem), or, in English, ‘May God comfort you amongst the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.” A common greeting in the UK is ‘I wish you long life.’ This “is derived from a phrase in the blessing for a new month. It typifies the Jewish belief that despite present troubles there is always hope for the future.” (Faith & Practice,page 64).

An important role visitors play whilst making a shiva call is creating a community in which the mourner can pray and say the mourners kad dish. For this reason, it can be helpful to find out the timing of the prayers before visiting to see if the visit can coincide with the prayers.

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