Definition:

The state of being immediately preceding death.

The time when one approaches the frontiers of life is a time for resolution. Not only is there often a chance to settle practical matters, but there is also often a chance to say things that have previously been held back. There is often a chance for atonement and our Siddur (Forms of Prayer, 2008, p.420) provides liturgy which can facilitate this. If you would like to borrow a siddur, or would like a Rabbi present, please do not hesitate to contact us. There is also a prayer (p.421) on behalf of those who are terminally ill, said by family and friends, to help them start on their journey of loss.

A person who is suffering from an incurable disease but whose death cannot be predicted is sometimes referred to as a terefah. Such a person is treated in the same way as any other sick individual. However, a person on the very border of life is known as goses (m) or goseset (f). It is very difficult with the advances of modern-day science to know when someone has reached the stage of goses/et. A person enters this stage of life only when it is certain that they will pass away within three days.

We do not move such a goses/et at all so that we are not in any way responsible for speeding up or the holding back of their passing. Some people prefer to pass away in the presence of those whom they love, whereas many prefer not to let their loved ones see them die, and may wait until the family have left the room, even though we traditionally do not leave a goses/et alone. It is generally felt that overwhelming emotional displays are disturbing to a goses/et, so it may help for a loved one to express any profound sorrow outside the room before entering. The most appropriate attitude for someone accompanying a goses/et is one of comfort.

Since hearing is the last of the senses to go, even if a loved one is non-responsive, it can still give them much comfort to hear words of love spoken to them. While many people instinctively place their hand on top of the hand of the goses/et (partly to ensure that they do not move the body), it can be more comforting for the goses/et for their own hand to be on top, since this allows them to feel like they can “leave” at any time.

Rabbinic sources differentiate between what is now termed “active” and “passive” euthanasia. Active euthanasia - deliberate assistance towards death - is absolutely forbidden, while passive euthanasia - removal of those things that prolong life - is permitted for someone who is goses/et. Rabbinic guidance is always available with such difficult issues.

Sources:

• The Laws of Life – A Guide to Traditional Jewish Practice at Times of Bereavement, Masorti Publications, London 1997
• Bereavement Booklet for Jewish Women, Jewish Women’s Network
• The Journey of Mourning: A Reconstructionist Guide, Richard Hirsch, Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association, 2001

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